He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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