On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Randomize
