She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
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He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
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The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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