FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
