i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
