i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
