are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
