I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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