Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
