we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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