"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
