Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Randomize
