My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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