I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
