A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
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