I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
