Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
