you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
