it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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