Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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