apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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