well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
