Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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