oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Randomize
