her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
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Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
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I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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