discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
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