so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
