I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
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