you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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