I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
