im having a threesome with these popsicles
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
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