maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Randomize
