it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
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