I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
