The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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