he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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