just tell him i said nine months
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
