So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
