Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
two words: eviction party
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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