I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Alive.
So much puke
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
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