he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
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