i always forget guys have bellybuttons
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
