drunk tastebuds have low standards.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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