3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
