Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Randomize
