Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
