I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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