We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Randomize
