Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
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