we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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