i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize
