You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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