So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Randomize
