Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
