well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
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