It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
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