I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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