You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
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