what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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